I heard Donald Miller talk about stories and having a life that makes a good story. It has stuck with me ever since. I’m a big fan of a good story, whether in a book, movie, or conversation. I love hearing stories with a theme of freedom. People coming from one place in life, to a completely new place in life without restrictions….kind of like being able to take a long deep breath after only being able to breath in short gasps. One thing DM mentioned was that in order to be a good protagonist the character has to come to a point where he puts down his own needs for another, and I thought it was interesting how Hollywood has picked up on this biblical principal. It doesn’t matter how sleazy the movie, the director knows that if this movie is going to sell the main character needs to do something unselfishly for someone else. Because a self-absorbed protagonist really ends up being the antagonist in the viewers eyes.

Can you imagine a movie, me being the star of course, where my goal is to have a really nice pontoon boat. The whole movie would be about me saving/raising my money with hilarious scenes of trying to babysit my neighbor’s kids, holding concert fund raisers in the mall parking lot, and of course going to the pontoon boat store drooling over the latest and greatest. After finally saving enough money I’d go pay for my boat, and the closing scene would be me floating off in the sunset with a big smile on my face. Would you pay to see that? Not even at the dollar theater! That sounds absurd, no one would really ever have that as their life goal, would they? How about having a big house, that’s a good investment right? What about having the perfect set of teeth? Perfect job? Boring, next channel.

After thinking about this, it started hitting home. Several years ago my goal was to travel the world and photograph for a Christian organization. It seemed noble at the time, I’d get to be apart of helping the world, do what I love to do, and get to travel on someone else’s dime. After getting set up with said goal, with some major divine intervention, I wondered why I wasn’t satisfied. I’d been places 99% of the world hasn’t been, I saw scenes through my viewfinder that most photographers dream about, but started to become jaded. Oh, another city slum, oh another cute little African kid playing with an old wheel, oh another child receiving the first toy he’d ever had in his life…

I stopped having those sudden-realization-of-self moments because it had become commonplace. The realities of non-stop travel set in. Getting some sort of parasite started to become commonplace. Missing out on time with friends and family set in. Why the heck am I doing this?

You see, what I was starting to understand is that my seemly noble goal was apparently rather self-promotional. People would call me a world traveler, I could say things like “Oh sorry, I won’t be able to come Thursday…I’ll be in Cambodia.” What kind of story is that THAT? I could see that one doing real well in the box office.  The World Traveler – He’s so cool, coming to theaters near you, rated PG-13.  I fooled myself into thinking that my goal was of value to the world, when really it only helped me. I’m not saying this whole time has been a waste and that I’m a self absorbed heathen. I’m happy to boast in the Lord and the little tasks he’s had set aside for me, I’ve seen his spirit at work in miraculous ways, and I’m REALLY excited for what’s next.

I’m over the whole “world traveling photographer” label. I’ve taken to having more of a focus on people on these trips. I’ll take my photos, do my job, and then start playing with kids, or have a charades conversation with a local who has no clue what I’m saying. I’ve started praying for compassion when I start becoming jaded. Whether I like it or not, since Jesus is in me I represent Him not Paul Sherar. And since Jesus represents love, I represent love. If I’m going to be a good protagonist I’m going to need to start living for others. Live to give, not to earn is a motto I’m starting to learn to live by…

This is slightly off topic, but still related.  What if you were a person that gets excited about a job promotion not because it means you can add that pool in your backyard now, but that you can give $2000 more to that orphanage in Africa you heard about? What if you got into politics not because it gave you power and stature, but because it gave you more of a chance to help poor people? This seems profound, but it’s all old news. Jesus said it himself, “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me…”

I think I had different intentions when I first started writing this, but as the words took their own direction they spoke to me as well. What’s the point of life? Could it be as simple as one of my friend’s facebook religious views?